All your dreams are coming true: after being approved and then un-approved by the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau back in April 2014, Palcohol—a flavored, powdered alcohol—has now officially been re-approved and should be ready for consumption by summer. This abomination will come in four flavors: cosmopolitan, margarita, vodka and rum, with a lemon drop flavor planned for the future. If you’re one of those people who can barely stomach powdered flavor mixes now, you’ll be able to stomach them even less once they add alcohol.
While it may take a while for further hurdles to be jumped to get this stuff on the market, it stands to reason it will be a massive flop for anyone older than college-aged—who, it seems, will be able to abuse this extensively. It will be much easier to sneak into, say, a concert or sporting event than a flask or some other form of liquid alcohol, so you can save a few bucks and buy a $14 water to add to it instead of shelling out $16 for a beer. And while the owner of the brand mentions that it would take an hour to snort the powdered equivalent of one shot of vodka, some idiot is definitely going to try it. Probably many idiots.
The best part of the whole ordeal is a 16-minute, how-to video in which Palcohol creator, Mark Phillips, gives everyone the run-down on how to use it, since the people who will gravitate towards this product are probably pretty unsure on how to properly mix powder and water. Also, there’s no way anyone should let a guy who looks like such a crazed cult leader pour ANY kind of powder in their water. The video hits its peak about five minutes in when it really demonstrates the kind of people that will be the target audience—Phillips adds some water to a pouch of Palcohol, throws in a straw and then adds a slice of lime to what is essentially a Capri Sun pouch. Check out the video below. Keep it fancy, Palcohol!
Images via Palcohol
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